abandoneddollyy

she`s back once agaiin !

2005-04-16T05:01:00.000-07:00

al0ha!
biig m0mma iis back guyys!
been bz thiis wh0le m0nth
prepariing fer SYF
went h0me tired n restless
but iin the end w0n a SILVER awardd
its n0rt tat easy t0 earn eurself tat awardd
spent m0st 0f mua dayys bitiing peeps!
damn fleshyy man mua darlynk frens!
oh yuhhs!
sp0rts dayy iis als0 0ver!
g0rt therdd in the cheer`leadiing c0mpetiti0n
n0rt bad ii guess; but its bad fer me
n0rt really satisfiied bt its okayy
oh gawde! really mish eu guyss!
so sorry fer n0rt updatiing mua blo0ggy
but so sadd n0 one tagg mua taggyy
and n0w im prepariing fer APD
s0 siian wan! tr0ubles0me leii!

//* [mua love life]
so far we are doiing fine
did have a few fights but that doesnt stop us
we are still goiing on
seeiing each other`s true colours everyday
noe`iing each other more deeply
hugs are gettiing tighter n donte feel like letting go
misunderstandiing really drove us crazy
hugs ; smooches ; lappy sleep
iis nort enuff fer me
whard ii actually want iis to live with him
all my liife and never to part
each day we part its ike a decade
and i hope to be by his side all the time
ii hope we will work hard together
and make shure that we will always be together

//*________[ love `euu ]__________
`loviing eu doesnt tire me
`as its my responsibility to love euu
`eur fame iis not what im in love wiith
`but your true self iis what ii admired
`though euu do hurt me sometimes
`but my love iis always there for euu all the time
`deep iinsiide ii treasure my heartx for euu
`ii gave euu my all and made euu the owner of me
`yet my dreamx hasnt come true
`just one last wiish
`would euu be faiithful as ii am to euu?

matchmaker `

2005-03-08T06:52:00.000-08:00

hi agaiin .
damn tired man .
today is quite a nice day
had the maths & science quiz thingy
get to redeem an UNattractive prize
and box that contains pen and pencil
not that bad ii should say

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.[ matchmaker ].x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x
this very day
dated 8 o3 2oo5 ;
ii ; sumarni bte sumadi ;
united this two newly-lovers
nur illyana ayu and noh iskandar
at 3.45 pm
x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.[ matchmaker ].x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x

sometimes wehn eu see someone elses
feeling happy ;
euu will also feel the happiness
sometimes wehn eu love that person ;
eu would just wait and wait
till eu get wad euu want
there was a man
he was in love with a young beautiful lady
he was rejected fer the ferst time
and thought he would give up on her
she went on a relationship with anotha guy
but he still waited and waited
she got into a fight with her guy
and they broke up
she was so upset and felt stupid
cuz she rejected him at the ferst place
she thought that he would have forgotten her
the next day ; at night ;
she received a gdnight msg
and its from him
they kip in contacting each other
and finally got web up and fall in love
in the second tyme ..

`the end
`a true story of illyana n iskandar
`rmb im the one hu help out
`* winkx *

let`s get it clear !

2005-03-03T21:49:00.000-08:00

it`s me agaiin !
irritating huh ?
well came back ta update new entries
lets settle one byy one okayys
ferst thing !
to mua dear frend [aQharii]
yesh ! ii do loiike pereman
but noww no more !
so donte make a BIG fuss bout iit
noww ta me he`s nuttink than a jerk !
tankeww !
look ; must ii really love dat person
before ii could call dat person `darlynk` ?
ii just donte understand some of these guyys
can euu love eur own frend ?
ridiculous isnt iit ?
let`s close arpp thiis topiic
.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x
tadayy was actually a bor`iing dayy
got dat pett rocket thingyy
whiich is wastiing mua tiime
-
hate mr chai ever !
bloodyy hell !
cant even stand his looks man !
i did nothing and he went ta me and sayy
`if euu donte respect me then i wonte respect euu`
whudd fcuk is he try`iing ta sayy heere ?
even duriing the pet rocket thingy
whereby the science students enjoy`iing ;
he still can go ard and scold mua classmate
whudd on earth does he think he`s doiink
-
shutt !
havent do mua d & t werk
im damn tired tadayy
feel loiike nort coming ta skool tmr !
* siigh *
i have no energyy to flip thru books
and jot down answers
underlining ; reading ; writing
ouh mua gawde !
whr can i get dat energy from ?
im goiink to slp after this
oraiit guyys mua heavy eyyes nid some rest
c ya next time round yuhhs !

` grL blew kisses ~

- ` darke pwiincess____. -

werdds of myne

2005-02-27T13:07:00.000-08:00

euu mayy be smart ; good-looking ; romantic
but must ii really fall fer euu?
ii do care fer euu
always hope that euu would be a better person
but as a fren ; ifaiiled
ii donte knoww how to change euu back
euu eurself made me hate euu
ii cant fergive euu fer whudd eu had juste done
ii cant tolerate euu even fer a miinute
ii donte noe whyie eu could do this to me
but although euu hurt me
ii will takeit light fer noww
always remember wehn euu are down im alwaes dher fer euu

- darke wpiincess-

whiiye cant euu trust me ___`

2005-02-14T21:20:00.000-08:00

ii had never liied to euu
ii had never cheated euu
whyiie cant euu trust me fer just this once?
for all my 14 yrs 1 mth 14 dayys 8 hrs 58 mins
and this few secondds whiich iis still tickiing
euu had never giiven me eur trust
all euu thought bout me was all iin a badd viiew
but whyiie? iis iit too hard to trust eur own daughter?
euu spiied me as i walked out of school
ii act as iif euu are invisible
duu euu noe how shameful iit iis
wehn myy friends getta noe that myy dad donte trust me?
ii noe euu put up high hopes on me
and donte want me to fall like eur other children
but euu should have confidence iin eur children aint euu?
ii noe whudd iim doiink and whudd iim SUPPOSE to duu
ii noe myy dutiies as a daughter thers no niid fer euu to remiind
euu had nort stepped iinto school before
and euu donte even noe the stress euu can get iin educatiion
and noww euu tryy to be kind wiit me
mayy ii noe whudd kindof crapp is this?
duu euu wiin anyy award fer doiink this to me?
euu put me iin a werl full of kwuestions
euu dinte giive me freedom and ii just donte care
euu caged me up like a bird and ii just ignored
euu nagged at me every single dayy as iif i've done a mistake
euu differentiiate me wiit others giirls
euu want me to follow all the good things
but euu eurself iis walkiing iin a wrong path
everyyone iin thiis house shows me bad example
and euu expect me to follow the god want
but from hu cant ii take the good example from
euu eurself had to rmb this
wehn ii was 7
euu left us all by ourselves
euu made mom sweat and toiils to feed the 3 of us
even now euu dinte even give hurr the rite amount fer expenses
r euu the husband that myy mom wants to marry?
euu r considered luckyy euu noe that?
tell me whiich ladyy wants to marry a drug addiict?
even euu giirls wonte duu that right?
ii donte noe till wehn wiill ii be treated thiis way
oh GAWDE please re-shaped myy destinyy

` darke pwiincess____.

gawde! iim boredd!

2005-02-12T18:59:00.000-08:00

guess hus back!
nah its me so-called tsunami of dha class
tadae is saturdayy
its so damn boriing
no outings no calls no nice shows
still have tmr anotha boring dayy
i wanna go out!
i donte wanna be a homey ghurl
lucky ma ez-link is not ard
whiiye no one called me tadayy
iim damn phreaking bored
n wonder hus tt phreaking freak tt tagged
looking fer trouble huhs
naming i donte giv a damn cuz i noe
tt person is envy bout ma bloggy
cheese off eu freak!
lots of ma frends getting EMO evry single dayy
must be some personal problems huhs
well better nort interfere cuz ii noe tt will infuriate `em
some failed in love failed to get someone
some got relationship problems wych is too personal
some is too suicidal crazy mad due to love failure
dhers even victim off ill-treatment from fella mates
like me still waiting fer tt someone ta talk ta me
all dayys i see him as a bz man n its okay
he told me he;s not bz but acted as he was bz
how hurtful was tt aniwae if eu were me
gosh! but i have to take it lightly
as it doesnt affect me tt much - aint it?
i have to be strong to go thru my evryday life
no matter how bad or good its gonna be
i still have to go thru it all my life
well staying at home really sucky
no peace at all
loud voices evrywerh pple yelling
babies cryying shoutiing throwiing tantrumms
i feel like kickiing all this pple out of dha house
they really infuriates me n i really hate `em
like wad jyst happen tis veryy moment
i cleared evrytink in dha sink
cleaned dha house bedrooms kitchen
bathed tt bloody irritatiing kidd
and wehn they reached home
evrytink went into a MESS once again
sink full of plates cups forks spoons plastic containers
d clean floor turns filthy once again
oh mua lawde! i hate enuff of this
wehn shall all this gonna stop
if i ignored all this they gonna sae im a lazy bump
useless daughter useless sister
argh!!! i really HATE this life
i wish i could just end it or get exchanged with someone's
im cramped! gawde! help me!

donte interfere`

2005-02-10T16:56:00.000-08:00

sitting all by hurrself in hurr cozy bedroom
trying hurr very best ta get rid of hurr boredom
she couldn`t have a nice slp in sucha hawte afternoon
she and hurr dark room with windows and doors closed
witout friends or sounds that accompanied hurr
cant waiit ta meet hurr friends once again
after spending 2 daes at home
wych drove hurr CRAZYY ; yelling about
she adores him but she noe that he`s just hurr past
she hadd ta continue hurr life wit new memoriies
she doesnt now wehn will she able ta make hurr own decision
a right one that can do good fer hurr
she doesnt want ta be hurtt agaiin
she had enuff of evrythiing ever since she realises wads goiing on
she wants peace that can keep hurr ta rest
want ta stop dha spears that keeps on thrusting against hurr chest
had enuff of all those biytches
all those liiars pervy-creeps heartt breakers
and so on and so forth
its nort that she wanna make enemiies wit hurr own friends
but she just hate it wehn others get involved in hurr personal probs
n wehn she`s too infuriated she just donte care wad she saed
she`s someone hus alwaes 'out wit it'
donte ever tryy ta stopp hurr iin wad she`s doiink
dha more eu stop hurr dha more she will doo it
she just wants to scrap off hurr bad memoriies
please doo give hurr dha right ta doo anything she wants
as that makes hurr feel mor happier and satisfied
ii noe eu guyys are mua frend but ii just hate it wehn eu guys interefered
ii noe eu guyys do really care bout me
and ii donte really mind that instead ii appreaciate that
but fer this while please let me have some peace

iim hurt deep deep iinsiide

2005-02-07T20:44:00.000-08:00

lil' pwiincess iis hurtt tuudae
she had sucha deep cutt iin hurr heartt
once agaiin she owns a brokenn heartt
wehn iis all thiis goiin` endd
she hadd enuff of everythiing
hurr dayy was spoiilt by hurr pwiince
she couldenn beliieve iit tt hurr pwiince cood duu tt to hurr
he betrayyed dha trust tt she gave hiim
hurr pwiince just did whudd iis loathed byy dha pwincess
he was luckyy tt dha pwincess gav hiim a last chance
wiith hope tt it wonte be betrayyed agaiin
she hadd a heavyy heartt to carry wiith hurr tonyte
she wondurr iif she cood doze off tonyte
and she still kiips on wondurring iif she cood fergive hiim
she knowws iits hard very hardd
even dha pwince knowws tt she loathes whudd beiing done
and also hopiing tt iit wonte happen
but since tt we cood only decide
and results will onlyy come from HIS hands
she just have ta bear wiith iit
she have ta start learniing bout dha liife she's goiing thru
try ta be more patiient wiith others
and also try ta take things lightlyy
noww she had no one ta tok to
hurr guard iis nort tokiing ta hurr anymorr
she doesnt knoww whyiie
so she just have ta seek for help from outsiide
and heere she's still waitiing fer hurr guard ta tok to hurr
and be hurr listening ear once agaiin
ta be someone whom she can share hurr problems wiith
he will waiit n waiit n waiit

wishe ii cud flyy

2005-02-06T19:47:00.000-08:00

ii wishe ii couldd flyy n touch dha skyy
flyy to touch dha sparkliing stars that beautifyy dha night
ii wishe ii couldd meet myy fairyy
give hurr all myy wishes and make shure it comes true
ii wishe ii couldd turn ma tears iinto bloodd
which can be donated to dha ones needed
iim just a servant hu had to fulfill myy responsibilitiies
a servant of myy liife
a human tt sheds tears
who owns a broken heartt
an unwanted gurl ; worthless ; good for nothiing
ii donte understandd what pple want from mee
whyiie duu they kiip on botheriing mee
whyiie duu they kiip on hurtiing mee
ii duu have feeliings as they are
ii duu have myy own obliigatiions
ii duu have myy own wayy of liviing
whyiie cant they give mee a chance
there's a feeliing of enviness iin mee
wehnever ii see reuniions of familiies
wehnever ii see freedom giiven to others
wehnever ii see parents go outiing wiith their child
wehnever ii see others beiing hugged byy theiir parents
beiing praiised ; beiing smiled at ; beiing cared for
duu ii have a derrty look across myy face
and that iits hardd fer eu to look at
am ii a pauper ; a vagabond ; someone derty
yes ii am a pauper a vagabond a beggar
since eu stopped cariing fer mee
ii've gone far far away
and iits hardd fer mee to go backk
please donte force me to look backk
cuz iit will be poisoniing myy liife
ii hope there would be sliits of happiness fer mee
as i had to continue myy journey till i reached myy destination
whiich iis far away from liife
where no one can ever reach iit